Dealing with Thoughtless Remarks

Dealing with thoughtless remarks
Even when you are feeling comfortable with your breastfeeding choices other people’s thoughtless remarks can make you feel anxious or upset. Remember that the remark is a statement about the speaker’s feelings or experience and not about you. When you are feeling challenged by other people’s feeling about your breastfeeding relationship talking with a Leader can help you frame your replies and renew your confidence. Here are some remarks that you might hear and some possible responses to consider.

"How long are you going to breastfeed that baby?”
Possible responses:
You’re wondering when he will wean? I’m curious about that too.
That is up to him and how long he seems to need it.
{Partner’s name} and I are not worried, we are in no hurry to stop.

"Didn’t you just nurse him?”
Possible responses:
We love to cuddle.
He evidently forgot!
That is the nicest part; we’re not tied to a schedule.

"Aren’t you awfully tied down?"
Possible responses:
I’m indispensable and I like it that way.
I appreciate your concern but no I don’t feel tied down.
A nursing baby is so portable it is really the opposite of being tied down.

"If you weren’t nursing him I could help you more."
Possible responses:
But you have been so much help already! If you hadn’t we couldn’t have made it this far. You’d probably like to spend more time with him. How about giving him a bath later? You could take him for a nice walk after I feed him.

"He’ll never let you go, you are making him overly dependent!"
Possible responses:
I understand that you see it that way but we each have our own way of doing things. Our closeness now will make him secure enough to be independent when he is older and ready for it.

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Updated July 2022